Archive | Funny RSS feed for this section

Oh Where Is Mistress Muse ?

6 Feb

             Mistress Muse is a Sassy Lass

                    Blows in on the Wind leaves Twice as fast

              Best Be Plumed Quill in Hand

                    An  Erect Easel, with Keyboard  Manned

                  Else, Her Aura flutters Away.  

                 Self Phenomed Foolish Pride?

                   We Can’t be Distracted, or Preoccupied

                Mistress  Muse Shares  Nada.

                    Paint it, Write it, or Devil Wears Prada

                  Other Valentine’s Her Prowl.

                                                               Like Moonbeams Twinkling

                   Through Tinted Glass, Mistress Rests

                    Non – Subservience Passed

                   Those Recognizing Gifts  Put to Use

                     Capture the Moment Not  A

                         Second To Lose , But,   

                        Oh, Where Is Mistress Muse?

   

             

Hotel Canuuk-I-warnedya,Eh? “For The Hook”

29 Jan

As Our Story Begins, we find our mild mannered Captain Bell-Hook assisting   hotel guest as they arrive at the front desk. He politely spiels to the arrivals, a congenial run down of the hotels lay-out, dinner menus, and basic orientation.

As most any day at hotel Canuukiwarned-ya, while there are  a “Few”cheerful paying customers at the desk, the usual heel-hounds  scurry about, sniffing out ways to stiff the hired help, thereby saving themselves a few dollars out of pocket change. Apparently, when some folks decide to stay in a ritzy, better than average hotel spending more on a room for a night than last months rent, they think everything else should be included in the bill.

So, as Captain Bell-Hook seemingly appears preoccupied assisting other guest, little “Chip-Off-The-Old-Skin-Flint” pulls the “make eye contact with mommie dearest” diversion, as dad makes off with the luggage cart  in attempt to save himself $3.00 bucks.

This being the oldest trick in the Gratuity Gangster Game, ole dad chuckles, thinking lil flint slips the bags unnoticed right under Captain Bell-Hook, and the entire hotel staff’s noses.

As the morning progress’s,

the same old shell-games pass numerously, erroneously believed shielded just beneath the staff’s line of vision daily, and all goes on as planned. Just another beautiful morning for the Bellmen, whom we all know would rather be at work, waiting on visiting yuppy, tight wadded transients and their families, than to be at home serving their own.

Around 10:30 A.M. while the hotel lobby thinned out a bit from the hustling crowd, the phone buzzes for service from a room on the ground floor.    Bzzzzz!!!

“Front desk, Hotel Canuukiwarned-ya, Hook speaking, how may I help you”?

A squeaky elderly female voice on the other end squelches out the words: “Young man, I need you to come and repair my microwave oven”. “Okay ma’am; What seems to be the trouble with it”“Well”.   She retorts, “If I knew that I wouldn’t need you to come and fix it”. “Now would I”?  “Ah, no ma’am, I suppose you wouldn’t”. ”I’ll be right there ma’am”.

Just as Captain Bell-Hook hangs up the phone, this little aberration appears in front of the desk, as the sound of giggles, and occasional squeak of a luggage dolly is heard down the left corridor. “Are you gentlemen doing any hiring today”? Little miss bell-booby asked. Bell-Hook, knowing this was just an apparition conjured up via the evil-spirit, ”Red-Herrinnymphus”  by another team of gratuity gluttons, left the desk manager to deal with it, and headed down the right corridor toward the old lady with the microwave issue, purposely choosing not to look left, not wanting to see the inevitable escaping caddy-cart.

As the lady shut the door after inviting Bell-Hook in to take a look at her microwave, the Hook turns and informs the lady; “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but, this is not a kitchenette room, and I will have to take your microwave back to the front desk with me”.  After years of pursuing his career as a professional service person, Bell-Hook thought he had heard every slandering stream of belligerent, belittlement’s known to man…

But, he was wrong.

As he made off down the hall with granny fiery-dart’s flash cooker, he turned to let her know she could pick it up at the desk upon checkout. Unfortunately, he turned just in time to see her fling her evil toaster towards his head with the force of a forward motioned wrecking ball, and never got the words out of his mouth before being eaten alive.

The toaster rolled down the hall end over end at  breakneck speed, before finally coming to rest at the lobby entrance, and spit the Bell-Hook out all warm and toasty.

I said the toaster spit him out all warm and toasty..

I said the toaster spit him out…

well, okay,.. maybe it didn’t spit him out after all,  which means of course, the story now must take a turn in the …

.

.

.

.

.

Oh, there he is;

As Captain Bell-Hook’s assistant, “Big Bell-O-Mac”, saw what was taking place he quickly grabbed the phone to call police for obvious needed assistance, as by now little old microwave lady’s granddaughter had arrived at the scene, quite livid at Bell-Hook for taking grannies microwave. Big Bell-O-Mac had barely gotten the word; “Hello” into the phone, when the granddaughter gouged a 10 inch syringe into his leg, pumping in 800 units of green pectin, instantly turning him into a huge pile of mindless jello.

.

.

Needless to say, this was about as much as Bell-Hook could take. Still steaming from the toaster oven, he thought better of popping-off and blowing his top all over the place. Instead, as if delivered by some unseen force, a plan to calm everyone down, and get things back on an even keel instantly came to his mind. He remembers thinking to himself; ” I  couldn’t have come up with a better plan if it were written specifically to me on the back of a Crunch Berry box”. While scooping up the plate of lime-jello, that was once his friend, and co-worker, and placing it gently into the mini-fridge behind the front desk, he tells the granddaughter of the oven smuggler she could take the microwave back up to her room.

Once the young lady left, he immediately began tracking the room numbers of all the tip- stiffing, cart stealing, appliance poaching, skin flint guest that had crossed his path since he arrived earlier that morning. He then called them all one by one, informing them it was now 11:45, and seeing as they had been such affable, gracious paying customers, the hotel was treating them to a special “Free-Lunch”  in the restaurant on the second floor.

Never being ones to miss out on a free-lunch, everyone was in the lobby, and ready to go upstairs before the clock chimed high-noon. Exuberantly giddy, in expectation of a free meal, Captain Bell-Hook had little trouble getting them all to pack into the same elevator, ready to ship off in minutes.

“Going Up”?

No sooner than the doors of the elevator closed, Hook was in and out of the phone booth, faster than a silver bullet can kill a vampire, completely transformed from the lowly, mild- mannered Bellman, everyone knew and loved, into  “Captain, You’ve Been Warned,”!!! slammed the joy stick that released the trap-door- floor of the elevator open, sending all aboard plummeting rapidly into the abyss.  A place that no one knows, not I,  not the Hook, not “Captain You’ve Been Warned”, or even the hotel establishment…No one knows where…this place is not even…

.

.

.

.

.

...Okay, it's somewhere in Siberia...…Okay, it’s …somewhere in Siberia…

All seemed to be going well the rest of the afternoon, till suddenly, both front glass doors of the hotel were blown in through the lobby at the speed of light. The sudden explosive sound of shattering glass sent patrons fraying across one another, sprawling to the floor, just in time to keep from being ripped, tattered, and torn by millions of lightning speed shards of sparkling glass. To the Hook, who was now peering out from his crouched position, behind the front desk, it looked like some sort of diamonds storm- shot out from a massive cannon.  What was to come through the door next, however,was even more bone chillingly frightening to the Hook, as it was none other than Arch- Nemesis of Captain You’ve Been Warned, herself,              “Paula Deen”!!!

Hook was shaken even more upon learning from the blood curdling question the low country cook screeched, that the little old microwave lady was apparently Paula Deans granny too…

“Where’s my little microwave cooking granny y’aaaall…wut heff  y’all done withh har”? 

Looking over at the Hook, and realizing he was actually Captain “You’ve Been Warned” in a Bell Hop uniform, she screamed; “Why you yellow belly grandma hatein, non-donut eatin scandrawl you, when I git my hands own y’aaall I’m a – gonna sop you up with some maple sir-rip, and eat you alive mister”!!!

By now the news of Paula Deen’s arrival, and intentions to devour the Hook, had reached Mrs. Hook, otherwise known as “Vampire Lover”,  who spread her wings and flew in like an F-22, Stealth Raptor, in hopes to help her husband. She knew even with the assisted super powers of  “Captain You’ve Been Warned” the Hook was no match for the Krispe-Kreme-Burger-Queen by himself.

Swooping in, The Vampire Lover took hold of the Apple – butter, lard Queen , latching onto her neck, and with just one bite collapsed to the floor, an apparent victim of  instant diabetic comma.

The Hook went completely ballistic…  Reaching behind him with both arms, and swinging back around in one fluid motion, letting go of the object he’d grabbed with such a force it took out two stress bearing columns from beneath the ceiling before slamming into Deen, the Low Country Brawler Queen. Suddenly there was a massive explosion, as the entire ground floor of the hotel was coated and filled from ceiling to floor with oozing green slime. In through the holes where the two glass doors once stood, the wind blew fiercely, forming an air pocket. The green slime began to harden, as  squishy, gurgley, popping sounds came from smaller bubbles lining its walls as they burst. Suddenly, one of the smaller bubbles popped sending something flying across the hotel and slamming into the far wall which had already hardened its green slime covering into something the consistency of Super-Ball rubber. The thing shot from the bubble bounced at a high rate of speed from wall to wall, back and forth across the entire span of the hotel lobby at least 20 times like a pin- ball in a rubber room. Suddenly, sticking straight out like an arrow shot from Robin Hoods bow, it came to a vibrating stop, when it stuck into the left

.

.

.

butt cheek of Paula Deen, who in turn fell across the Vampire lover with such a crushing impact that all the air came rushing out of the Vampire Lover, kick starting her breathing again.

As the slime hardened into a buoyant, bouncy, rubbery, cocoon, kids, and adults alike poured into the lobby from all directions, jumping up and down, whooping and laughing, and bouncing around like they were in some sort of a kids inflatable moon-walk castle or something.

Just then, as the Hook cleansed the remaining slime off the thing shot out of the bubble, enough to realize it was his buddy, and co-worker, Big Bell-O-Mac, Paula Deen turned and said;

“Hey, Wut wus that thang you stuck in my laft butt cheek”?

A little reluctant, Big Bell-O-Mac, shrugged, and said…“Erm, it was this 10 inch syringe that crazy niece of yours stuck me with earlier”.

“Hum”.    Deen said.  “I don’t thank I’ve felt this good in three yee-ahs, Ya’ll”.

By now the place had filled with emergency crews, paramedics, firemen, policemen, and even a doctor or two.

“Mrs. Deen, I was a guest on your show a while back”. “Here, let me have a look at you, make sure you’re okay”.  A thin, pale looking lady said.

“Oh, I’m fine Dr. Wilma “.  Deen Said. “Other than the diabeatus thang, I thank I feel better than I have in yee-ahs”. “And by the way, fancy a meetin you here.”

“Yes”. The young lady doctor said. “It is quite the coincidence”. ” Now, let me drawl a little blood from you, and see what effect that stuff  in the syringe may have had “.

“Hmm, Mrs. Deen”. The doctor said after examining the blood on a few strips of Litmus paper, and running it through a hand held meter a few times. “I don’t see any sign of your diabetes, I think you’ve been completely healed”.

“Hehehehe!!! Did Ya’ll hear thaet”? Dean exclaimed. “I’m heaaaald”!!!

“Ya’ll need to bottle that stuff up and sell it as a meeracull quewer or something, ya’ll, in fact…I’m takin a buh-ckit of it home with me and bake me some green cakes, heheheee.”

So, along that time the Hook looks up at the clock on the wall and says to Mrs. Hook. ” Well, babe…it’s quitting time. Time for the shift change. Let’s go home”.

As they strolled arm in arm toward what used to be the front door of the hotel, Hook stops in his tracks upon hearing the chime of the elevator just as it comes to a stop in the lobby. The doors open, and inside stood eight, familiar looking, dirty, half frozen, faces gazing furiously back at him. “What now”? Asked the Vampire Lover. Hook looked at his wife through eyes half glazed over from fright and surprise, and half squinted from holding back the urge of bursting out laughing and says:                                                               

                                        ….>>>”RUN”!!!>>>

.

.

.

                                   Now back to my favorite pass-time:


Braised Country Style Ribs

11 Dec

Nothing beats a slow cooked piece of pork on a cool October day.

Oh well, with the temperature outside still @ 87 degrees Fahrenheit at 5 o’clock in the evening in mid October…I guess one out of two ain’t bad.

UPDATE:

I actually started this post back in October, ( just before as some of you may remember my computer crashed ) and saved the draft with just this one searing of the meat photo.

That really burns my Veloute…But, The show must go on!!!

So, I have no further imagery of this delectable dish on the current computer, however, I did thankfully add the beginning stage photo before hitting “Save Draft”..And, quite frankly I felt the need to make a quick post tonight, so, thank God for  “Small Miracles”. They usually are the best blessings of all, though I sadly over-look, or forget them all too often and just as quick.

So anyway. As memory serves, I seared these chubby chops slowly in a garlic/rosemary infused extra virgin olive oil, (after lightly dusting them with a mixture of  2 parts all-purpose flour,  1 part Italian bread crumbs, and  1 part instant mashed potatoes ).

I know it seems all I cook is pork, as it has been two months since I started this post, but, believe me…I cooked a chicken or two since then. Also a few Rib-Eye Steaks, but to be honest I probably lived mostly from breakfast food  (My Favorite) or pastrami and rye, or some Reuben, or Reuben Burger combinations, my second favorite by the way, (one day maybe I’ll disclose my personal recipe for the best Reuben Cole Slaw this side of Moscow)…But, NOT TODAY!!!

Oh man…I need a photo image here…I’m JONESING for my lost photos of this meal!!!

But, since a picture speaks a 1000 words, there’s really no reason for me to drag this out all night trying to – with a mere 120 characters…So, I’ll borrow someone Else’s picture to show you what I felt like my dish turned out to look and taste like..Yeah, that’s the ticket…

Oh Shucks..I think I finally did it.. I’m back online…I think?

25 Oct

THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD!!!After a week of working on this thing, I think I’m back online….

But then… Who the Hell Knows!!!

PLEASE STAND BY!!!

Possibly My Most Well Written Post/Poem Ever… WHITE NOISE

15 Oct

Honey, Lime, Super-Chicken

27 Sep

I started this one by searing both sides of the “Monster” sized leg quarters I found bagged at the market last week. They must be feeding these guys way too many steroids  ( not that any amount is less than too many) as one leg alone was as big as Foghorn Leghorn,spread eagle on a family vacation beach trip. I'm talking Serious Super Chickens !!! But,though,

I don't recall the exact per pound price,I do know it was one sweet chic of a deal. 

I first accommodated old Leghorn with a rub down of garlic infused extra virgin olive oil suntan lotion, and seduced  him with a nice lime toddy squeeze.

He, already basking in the saliferous, nebula of sun, and sea salt, was none the reluctant. By now the cracked black pepper, thyme, and cilantro rub-down went un-squawked. I slowly pulled the skin above his thigh, and stuck a chubby clove of garlic between the fleshy fold. Instantly, Foghorns breathing winged rapid. His succulent pores opened, and closed, as his gasping vesicles sucked savory, zephyrous, Vidalia …      SNAP OUT OF IT Cindythis is Foghorn Leghorn I’m talking about, NOT Gordon Ramsay!!!!!

So there I was…

Just me  ,.. a stainless steel stew pan, and foghorn leghorn…I seared him, speared him, and stuck him in a 350 degree Fahrenheit oven…And Voila … ( Incidentally, Any Pan Straight From the Stove Top Is Safe to Penetrate the Oven up to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, though I don’t recommend Teflon Coated Pans)  30 minutes later I slathered him in a honey, thyme baste, and laid him back into the oven, 15 minutes before I ate him like a starving  pigmy from New Guinea-chickenville. The whole thing lasted about an hour.

Paul-Willis-©-2011

ugotafriend86-basking

johnwebster-dancing

foodforthepoorbeachchicken

Versatile Blogger Award

25 Sep

I received theVersatile Bloggeraward from the dribblingpensioner

This apparently means the Old Irish Tater wants to know ” 7 ”  new things

about me that he doesn’t already know, so he will be able to play elaborate

jokes on me 6 times worse than this one!!! I’m Joking.   I’m very honored he 

appreciates our brief, but,  delightfully humorous blogging relationship

enough to include, and display my blog and link on his site, and therefore

I will also be paying – forward the award to as many sites as I can think of

who have been loyal to sharing one another’ s blog content, comments, and

like button. Just as “Harry” pointed out , if your site isn’t one of the links, it

is not because I don’t like your site. Most will be new sites, as those of us who

loyally comment, and frequent one another’s sites, already have links seen

there by  pretty much the same people. So, now, after I disclose seven secrets

which:  If I tell you I will have to kill you, about myself, I will be posting some

     Links to sites,  Who wants to be first?   Just Kidding!!!    

EXCEPT FOR YOU HARRY>

Now, Where Was I?

Oh Yeah, I have to

tell 7 things about

me.  

Okay,  first off,  I’m a 52 year old happily un-single  man. I cook to live, and live to cook in a local fine-dining  establishment. Obviously, I love to write. I also write, sing and play songs, ( though not as much as I once did ) I write Poems, Historical documents, especially pertaining to Maritime, and all things Nautical. I have a 26 year old daughter, and an almost three year old grandson who is almost 5 years old in length. My Phone number is BR5-49, and my bank account # is5610…nah, you wouldn’t want that anyway. That should about do it. Now, let’s get onto the more important stuff!!!                               Posting Your Sites

 Prenins Little Page

The Hook

Kate Shrewsday

My Life Such As It Is

Musing By MoonLight

Selma In The City

The Only Cin

Lavender and Lime

The Laughing HouseWife

Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

Janna T Writes Blog

Michellegd.com

View From The Sides

Adeeyoyo

The Complete Cookbook

Nurse Myra

Broken Sparkles

Zumpoems

Sweet Carolines Cooking

Life In a Recipe

Baking With Sibella

Tokeloshe

Agrigirl’s Blog

Rufus’ Food and Spirits Guide

Dash of Domestic

Trapperhoney

Granny 1947

Water Witches Daughter

Redneck Princes

Dribblingpensioner

In case you are not familiar with how this all works…I think you are supposed to download the “Versatile

Don't Blog and Drive!!!

Blogger Badge” and then pass the award on to 15 other sites you like…Have Fun

Paul Willis-2011

Magpie_1950′s smiley#1

msparrie’s thinking smiley

No Fancy Stuff Arbuckle, Garfield wants Lasagna “NOW”!!!

17 Sep

As various regions of certain area’s, and recipes differ from one another, (as Mommas, and Grandmas, who travailed them to perfection through the years have), there are oodles of  ways to bake Lasagna.

For example,  I, at the last minute, as you can see from the photo above,  decided to make this one my own version of the latest craze in Pastamania, and that being  “Pizzagna“. All I added were the pepperonis on top, of course, as they were something I had on hand, with no immediate plans of cooking another pizza this week.

This brings me back to the title of the article, Because, if you are like me, there is never everything that you need to follow a particular recipe on the shelves, or in the fridge. This is where we must adapt and overcome, (or waste time and energy rushing to the market) by substituting certain ingredients etc.  I know!!!  You’ve probably improvised enough in your kitchen by now to be able to shoot pool with an Al dente spaghetti noodle. But, for the sake of those who may just be learning, or don’t have the natural cooking instinct and ability as you, I’m just saying.

I believe it is “Guy Fereli” who is always saying; “If you’ve Got it use it” on his show. ( This of course doesn’t mean to use everything on your spice rack in every recipe you make). He is simply saying that in many cases an item that you have, and will otherwise have to throw out before you use it in a recipe that specifically calls for it, can be used as a substitute for an ingredient that you don’t have, and in some cases married with the item that is called for to enhance the recipes flavor. In my situation with this Lasagna/Pizzanga,for example, I didn’t have any fresh Italian parsley. In fact, I didn’t have any fresh parsley at all.  What I did have, however, was a nice fresh bunch of cilantro I’d used less than half of in a Mexican meal two nights earlier.

And lets be reasonable, not everyone has the time, garden space, or green-house to grow their own fresh herbs. (Though, I drooled a little on my keyboard as I typed the savory thought ).    Hey, if dried herbs and spices are all you have,   Use them !!!   It’s not like they are giving that stuff away these days  either.

In a sense, an artist is someone who breaths life, and love into otherwise wilted, faded, or dreary objects, creating a vibrant colorful flower.

Mexican Oregano Moonzzchild photobucket

It’s no different with cooking, after all it is  an art. The point I am making, of course is be the artist. When you cook something make it your own. Anyone can produce a purple flower, with green leaves, and yellow blooms, using a paint by number recipe.

Fresh produce from the market is pleasing to the palate.  I agree,  Even if but  psychologically theroputic, and comforting at times  yet, there are some instances where dried preparations of herbs can enhance the flavor more than fresh herbs.

Modern adaptations of Bolognese, and Marinara sauces, consisting largely of tomatoes are some of these dishes. If you have noticed, these type Italian sauces, simmered, cooled, and refrigerated over night take on a richer, more robust flavor. This can take place as fresh herbs infuse with the tomato sauce of course, but especially with some dried herbs, such as oregano, which becomes more flavorful dried than it was on the bush.I’m not saying to completely go off the reservation from following recipes others have tediously proportioned, prepared, and posted for us to use. I’m just saying for Chef d’oeuvre,.. to manifest, the chef in you must step away…from the cookie cutter, Rolodex, and use what you have on hand, and personally know tastes good to create the best dish you possibly can.

On this particular Lasagna, I chose to use an 8 x12 casserole dish, which is only 2 and a half inches deep. You may want to use a deeper dish, to allow for more layering, or convert the amounts accordingly. I was cooking for two, but as I had baked a nice sourdough bread earlier, and toasted a few slices in the pan previously used to saute the meat; believe me, it was more than enough. There is half a dish of the flavorsome pottage leftover in the ice box, in fact, infusing it’s assorted seasonings for an even better tasting meal for another day.

  Grocery List:

  • 1/2 pound of sweet Italian sausage  ( I bought a ground pork shoulder and made the sausage myself by adding ingredients, plus chopping some extra rib-eye steak fat with the pork, a few days earlier)
    1/2 pound of ground beef
    1/4 cup chopped onions
    1/4 cup chopped green bell pepper
    1 clove  garlic, chopped
    1 (16 ounce ) can crushed tomatoes
    1 ( 8 ounce ) can tomato sauce
    1 ( 6 ounce ) can tomato paste
    1/4 cup water ( pasta water is good )
    1 tablespoon sugar
    1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds
    1/2 teaspoon dried Basil leaves
    3 tablespoons fresh chopped cilantro, or parsley ( or what you have)
    1 teaspoon salt
    1/2 teaspoon (dried) oregano
    1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
    13 ounces of ricotta cheese ( or cottage cheese )
    1  dash of dried nutmeg, or 1/4 teaspoon fresh grated !
    1 egg
    1 handful shredded mozzarella cheese, or more…
    1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, (or just a light dusting if not fresh).
    9 Lasagna noodles ( three layers)
  • 1 half a large portebella mushroom chopped

Here’s the skinny

1. Brown, Italian sausage, ground beef, mushrooms, onions, bell pepper, and (garlic added last) in skillet. ( If you choose to leave the grease in for flavor then you can do this in the pot you’re going to cook your sauce in). (On the Entree’ pictured I chose to not mix the meat with the sauce, but rather to use as a single layer in the dish as it was a shallow dish, and I used less layers of pasta).  (It’s really all up to you as the artist).

2. Add 1 can crushed tomatoes, 1 can tomato sauce, 1 can of tomato paste, and 1/4 cup of water.  mix in by stirring

3. Stir these elements in one at a time:  Sugar, Fennel Seeds, 1/2 the Cilantro, or Parsley, Oregano, Basil, Salt, Cracked, black pepper…or   whatever you choose to taste.

4. For best taste…simmer for 2 hours, refrigerate overnight; Then simmer 30 minutes more before using: Otherwise, simmer for an hour and use right away, OR, IF you are in a BIG RUSH… Go Prego!!! It’s in there!!!

Cheese Filling

Depending on the method, or sauce you choose, preheat oven to 350 degrees ( f )    or    175 ( c )   30 minutes before sauce is ready…

5. Now that the sauce is underway, in a large mixing bowl add:  13 to 16 ounces of Ricotta cheese, 1 egg, remainder of chopped parsley, or cilantro, good pinch of Mozzarella Cheese, pinch of Salt, and  Stir with wooden or plastic implement.

6.  15 minutes before sauce is ready either start soaking your Lasagna noodles in hot tap water, or parboil them by placing in a pot of boiling water, and turning heat off. Allow to sit for 5 minutes, drain and have ready.

7. Now, just spread 1 cup of the ragu ( meat sauce ) in bottom of baking dish, and a layer of Lasagna noodles. Then spread a layer of cheese…repeat as many as you have depth, and noodles for…8. The finishing layer, though entirely up to you, will be the cheese mixture.  Traditionally, it is the ragu, or meat sauce, but entirely up to the Grandma-ma…I mean, the artist of course.

9. Sprinkle a layer of Mozzarella, Cheese on top, enough to lightly cover the Riccota, and a light layer of Parmesan, ( a little nutmeg if you like, and some dried parsley flakes, and you are ready for the oven).

10.  Cover dish with aluminum foil, or lid, and bake @ 350 ( f ) for 30 minutes, or 175 ( c ) for 30 minutes, then remove the foil ( lid ) and bake for 20 more minutes…checking for brownness, dependent on oven.

WOW just 10 steps…of course they can seem overwhelming when reading it as a step method… so just start off with this in mind:

I need a meat Sauce

A Cheese Filling Sauce

And some Lasagna Noodles…

Or in the case of “Pizzagna”

Use your imagination.

Or, Rachel Ray’s spin on it…serve any baked pasta dish with a crispy bread, and Voila ..Pizzagna!!!

Or, actually, those are my words based on some of her, and others Pizzana, recipes.

ZaqZag

Hmm I wonder why “Meow” is the same in all languages”?

Ciao!

Sacri-French-Legious, Rum-Free Bananas Foster

15 Sep

Got Kids ?  Or just don’t want a lot of alcohol in your recipe for whatever   reason? This tasty Tradition Splitting Bananas Foster will satisfy the culinarian in you, and the kids, and leave you feeling guiltless.   You  Culinary Criminal You!!!Ironically, “Bananas Foster“, was created in 1951, New Orleans, Louisiana’s French Quarter at “Brennans” restaurant by Chef,  Paul Blange’‘.

The sinfully sweet, decadently drunk, flambe’ style dessert was named for “Richard Foster” who served with the restaurant owner at the time on the New Orleans, Crime Commission. But, don’t worry, you are out of their jurisdiction.

Although we are told the alcohol content should be cooked out of a reduction style sauce, this is a very fast cooked sauce, with little to no reduction needed. I’m not saying that the alcohol isn’t cooked out, and it most likely is, especially when Flambe’d .

Still some of you, even after seeing TV Chef “Guy Fieri” use his 12-year-old son as a taste-testing, spokes person for a rum filled, two-quart bowl full of the stuff on National TV, may not be convinced.

So for those of you out there,who for whatever reason prefer your bananas sober…here’s the boat.

  •  In a medium sauce pan add:
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 3 tablespoons brown sugar
  • 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 Tablespoon lemon juice
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/8 cup walnuts, chopped if desired.
  •  Heat till bubbles, add one to two sliced bananas, and cook while basting 2 minutes:
  • Pour onto Ice Cream and serve. ( No Flambeing needed ) Serves 2
  •  Oh, lock the windows and doors!!!
  • Enjoy!!!

Sourdough Bread Pudding

12 Sep

Certainly not going to win any glamor awards. And you wont see it in next months “Healthy Living” issue, but I thought you might be interested in what became of the little turtle loaf of sourdough bread from last night.

Well, I mean what was left of it today after I toasted slices of it for lunch with tuna salad, green peppers, onions, arugula, dill pickle, crushed fennel, smoked paprika and parsley.

Sorry, no pictures of that. I know you would have loved to of seen them though, they were pretty little sandwich’s for about 10 minutes.

Anyway, Yeah I really didn’t need to win any awards for the dish I made with the remainder of the Sourdough bread, as I received a “Michelin Star” for it last night; turns out the tire was one of theirs.

After the Tuna Salad lunch was over, I decided to recycle the little turtle into something he would be proud of, and so I made up what I’m calling:  Turtle Track Bread Pudding.

I had about four slices left, so I crumbled it into a baking dish, in quarter, to half-dollar size pieces, and got my mixing bowl out.

This is the recipe for “Turtle Track Bread Pudding” if I can recall everything:

“Turtle Track Bread Pudding”

(Preheat oven to 350 degrees,..or, 175 Celsius).

4 slices day old sourdough bread that once resembled a turtle (optional )

(any day old bread will do)

1-1/2  Tb-spoon melted butter

1/8 cup raisins

1/8 cup walnuts

1/8 cup semi sweet chocolate chips

1/8 cup coconut

2 eggs, beaten ( Though I only used 2 yolks I  had in the fridge from something I already used the whites for )

1-1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Mix all the raisins, nuts, coconut, and chocolate chips, or whatever you are using in with the dry bread by hand.

“Pour melted butter over the bread crumbs”

In separate bowl mix, eggs, milk, sugar, cinnamon, and vanilla.

Pour mixture over bread and push the bread down so that it is all covered with the liquid. Place into oven on top rack for 45 minutes, or until the top is dry and springy. There ya have it:

Now please excuse me while I go take an insulin shot.

Till next time, this is the “Throw Together Gourmet ” saying good-bye on behalf of myself, my sourdough starter, “Bubbly Child ” and the turtle:

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 787 other followers